MAKING A SUCCESSFUL CV

Getting a strong CV ready is an important part of the job searching process. A good curriculum vitae (CV) is essential when looking for work, especially now, when there are often so many candidates for the same position.

Your objective is to get to an interview, Your CV needs to make you stand out from the crowd and ensure you get to that stage.

Remember that Recruiters have many hundreds of applications for each job, and on their first sort through of CV’s they are looking for a reason to reject applicants, to reduce the” in” stack! So if you can’t be bothered to present a professional CV with no errors, and to demonstrate that you have researched the job and believe you are right for it, your CV will be on the “out” stack!

Your CV and covering letter are your chance to show an employer the best of what you’ve got and who you are. It’s about selling your skills and experience, and showing them you’re the right person for the job. It should make it easy for employers to appraise your key skills and work experience to determine whether you’re appropriate for the role.

How you write your CV and covering letter is up to you, but there are some basic rules to follow if you want to create the best impression. Opinions vary as to the best template or format to use; there is no definitive answer. It will depend on a number of factors including the stage of your career, the type of position you are applying for, and the country in which you are applying to work. Some sectors may require a different emphasis on a particular part of the content, for example if you work in a profession, qualifications will be important. In a technical sector skills may be considered more important than career history.

Don’t assume that one CV will serve for all applications. You should review it and target it for each position you apply for. Many people have several CV’s, if they have worked in several sectors. They may have a general one, and different one designed to appeal to a certain sector, such as sales.

There are some basic rules on how a CV should be written and the information that should be included. We will look at some examples and samples in detail later.

·         A CV should be neat and typed in a business like font. Pay attention to formatting, and check your spelling. Incorrect spelling is a sure route to rejection.

·         The document should be positive, highlighting your career achievements and strengths, and clearly show your fit for the position for which you are applying.

Check a handful of adverts for the type of job you are applying for and then use the common requirements to tailor your CV. The more information you have about the job role, duties and responsibilities, the better you can do this. So if you can get hold of a job description, go through it carefully, and highlight in your CV wherever you can demonstrate that you meet the specification.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
Confucius

The basic information usually included in a CV would be:

·         Your personal details. Include your name, phone number, email address and professional social media presence if relevant. You do not need to include your address, for security reasons, or your date of birth, because of age discrimination concerns.

·         A personal profile or statement. This should be tailored towards the job you are applying for, and promote yourself and your abilities.

·         Significant achievements, if appropriate. If you have an established career, you should next list any significant achievements that are relevant. This is an opportunity to quantify your achievements. For example –“I Grew sales by 20% per annum”, “I produced above target reduction in overheads”, “I cultivated relationships with existing clients achieving a 30% increase in repeat business”.

·         Career history. It is usual to start with your most recent job first and include relevant dates.
Qualifications and training. Both academic, and from previous jobs, with the most recent first.
Interests, if they are relevant and especially if the skills are relevant for the position.

·         Any additional information. Perhaps you need to explain a career change or gaps in your career history.

·         Two references. Include a recent employer

Before each application review your CV against the job specification and make sure that it highlights that you’re the right match for the job.

 “Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.”
Paula Poundstone

·         Specific skills you have to offer the employer

·         Experience you have in the specific field

·         Appropriate personal qualities for the role

·         An understanding of the job requirements

GLOBAL TIPS ON CV

In the United States, a curriculum vita is used primarily when applying for academic, education, scientific or research positions.

It is also applicable when applying for fellowships or grants.

When applying for a job in Europe, the Middle East, Africa, or Asia, employers and recruiters expect to receive a CV rather than a resume.

Remember that employers often expect to read personal information on a curriculum vitae that would not be included on an American resume, such as date of birth, nationality and place of birth.

United States law on what information job applicants can be asked to provide does not apply outside the country.

A CV is a longer, more detailed synopsis of your background and skills and includes a summary of your educational and academic backgrounds, teaching and research experience, publications, presentations, awards, honours, affiliations etc.

It can be up to two or more pages.

As with a resume, you may need different versions of a CV for different types of positions

Like a resume, curriculum vitae should include your name, contact information, education, skills and experience.

A good attitude and common sense is valuable to employers. They are looking for someone who will help solve the business’ problems and add to its success.

In addition to the basics, a CV includes research and teaching experience, publications, grants and fellowships, professional associations and licenses, awards and other information relevant to the position you are applying for.

Start by making a list of all your background information, and then organize it into categories.
Include dates on all the publications you mention

TOP CV WRITING TIPS

1. Check for typing errors

This is really important. Poor spelling is a reason for most recruiters to reject your application. Make sure you spell check each time you amend the documents, ask a friend to proof read the final version of your CV

2. Read the job description

Before you spend too much time on applying for ‘that dream job with the impressive sounding job title, or exciting salary and benefits package, make sure your have studied the job description and used it to amend your CV and show you’re a good fit for the role.

3. Tailor your CV for the role

Have several versions of your CV available so you can target the role you’re going for. Do some research so you understand what employers are looking for and apply this knowledge to make sure you get to interview.

4. Use specific keywords

As more and more recruiters use job sites to search for candidates based on specific keywords, it’s important to try and include the terms which describe you and relate to the kinds of position you’re looking for in your CV. Get these from the advert and job description if you have one.

5. Use Power words. (See list below)

Power words / verbs are key the success of your CV. You should aim to use some of these words at the beginning of bullet points. For example, many CVs have points such as “I was responsible for increasing turnover through restructuring ranging.” This would sound better with a power word starting the sentence, “Increased turnover through restructured ranging”.

6. Be positive

Describe your attributes and experiences in positive terms. See how some negative statements can be improved.

Negative statements	Expressing things more positively
I feel I am a good communicator. During this experience I had to manage ten people.		I am a good communicator. During this experience I successfully managed ten people.
Even though I failed to achieve my target, I learned a great deal about increasing sales.		Through this experience I learned a great deal about sales management.
Some people have told me that I have good project management skills.		I have excellent project management skills.
I have had a few relevant experiences.		I have substantial relevant experience.
I believe in diversity and equal opportunities.		I am committed to diversity and equal opportunities.

CV POWER WORDS

Power words and verbs are key the success of your CV. You should aim to use some of these words at the beginning of bullet points.

For example, many CVs have points such as “I was responsible for increasing turnover through restructuring ranging.” This would sound better with a power word starting the sentence, “Increased turnover through restructured ranging”.

The following is a list of the power words you should use in your CV.

A Absorbed, Accelerated, Accomplished, Achieved, Acquired, Acted, Adapted, Added, Adjusted, Administered, Advanced, Advertised, Advised, Aided, Allocated, Announced, Amended, Analysed, Anticipated, Appointed, Appraised, Approved, Arranged, Ascertained, Assembled, Assigned, Assessed, Assisted, Attained ,Attracted, Authorised

B Balanced, Bargained, Bolstered, Boosted, Broadened, Budgeted, Built

C Calculated, Capitalised, Captured, Catalogued, Centralised, Chaired, Changed, Closed, Collaborated, Collected, Combined, Commissioned, Communicated, Comply, Compared, Compiled, Completed, Composed, Conceived, Conceptualised, Condensed, Conducted, Consolidated, Constructed, Consulted, Contracted, Contributed, Controlled, Converted, Convinced, Coordinated, Corrected, Created, Cultivated

D Decided, Decreased, Deferred, Defined, Delegated, Delivered, Demonstrated, Designated, Designed, Developed, Devised, Directed, Discovered, Displayed, Distinguished, Distributed, Diversified, Documented, Doubled

E Earned, Edited, Efficient, Eliminated, Enabled, Encouraged, Enforced, Engaged, Enriched, Engineered, Enhanced, Enlarged, Established, Evaluated, Examined, Exceeded, Excelled, Excellent, Executed, Exercised, Expanded, Expertise, Extended, Extracted

F Facilitated, Financed, Focused, Forecasted, Formed, Formulated, Founded, Fulfilled

G Gained, Gathered, Generated, Global, Granted, Guided

H Handled, Headed, Helped, Hosted

I Identified, Illustrated, Implemented, Improved, Improvised, Increased, Influenced, Initiated, Innovated, Inspired, Instigated, Integrated, Interfaced, Introduced, Invented, Invested, Investigated

J Joined, Judged, Justified

L Launched, Lead, Lightened, Listened ,Localised, Located, Logged

M Maintained, Managed, Marketed, Maximised, Measured, Mentored, Merchandised, Merged, Met, Minimised, Modified, Monitored, Motivated, Multiplied

N Named, Negotiated

O Observed, Obtained, Offered, Opened, Operated, Ordered, Organised, Overhauled, Oversaw

P Participated, Performed, Persuaded, Pinpointed, Pioneered, Placed, Planned, Prepared, Presented, Prevented, Prioritised, Processed, Produced, Programmed, Projected, Promoted, Proposed, Proven, Provided, Published, Pursued

Q Quantified, Quoted

R Raised, Reacted, Received, Recommended, Reconciled, Recorded, Recovered, Recruited, Rectified, Redesigned, Reduced, Refined, Reinstated, Rejected, Renegotiated, Reorganised, Replaced, Repaired, Reported, Resolved, Responded, Restored, Restructured, Resulted, Retained, Revamp, Revealed, Reversed, Reviewed, Revised

S Saved, Scheduled, Screened, Secured, Segmented, Selected, Separated, Shaped, Shortened, Simplified, Skilled, Sold, Solved, Spearheaded, Specified, Speculated, Stabilised, Staffed, Standardised, Stimulated, Streamlined, Strengthened, Strong, Structured, Successfully, Suggested, Supervised, Supported, Sustained

T Tailored, Targeted, Taught, Tested, Trained, Transformed, Translated, Tripled, Triumphed, Troubleshoot, Tutored

U Uncovered, Undertook, Unified, United, Updated, Upgraded, Used, Utilised

V Validated, Valued, Verified, Viewed, Visited

W Widened, Witnessed, Won, Worked, Worldwide, Wrote

 

SAMPLE CV

Remember your CV must be well presented; it must be Neat and Concise. Pay attention to Font, Formatting and Spelling. Alicia Smith works as PA to the director at a small company, and is looking for a new position. Her CV concentrates largely on key skills such as organisation and proficiency with Microsoft Office

She has also highlighted specific skills which make her stand out from the crowd: for example, taking responsibility for Health and Safety in the office.

Begin with personal and contact details including name, phone number, email address and possibly any professional social media presence. You no longer need to include your date of birth, owing to age discrimination rules.

Personal Statement.

Your personal profile should sell yourself and your qualities, and must be tailored towards the job you are applying for. It should be written in the third person, using power words, and in a concise style.

It should echo the requirements in the job advertisement and description.

And it should be positive, stressing achievements and strengths, and make a good impression in a clear and upbeat way. Highlight the specific skills you have to offer the employer which match their requirements.

Make sure you review your CV against the job specification and that it highlights that you’re the right match for the job.

Your objective is to get to an interview. Your CV needs to make you stand out from the crowd and ensure you get to that stage.

Significant achievements

If you have an established career, you can list your relevant achievements.

This is an opportunity to quantify your achievements;

·         “I Grew sales by 20% per annum”,

·         “I produced above target reduction in overheads”,

·         “I cultivated relationships with existing clients achieving a 30% increase in repeat business”

Positions Held

This is your chance to show an employer the best of what you’ve got and who you are.

Demonstrate an understanding of the job requirements and the experience you have in the specific field. It’s about selling your skills and experience, and showing them you’re the right person for the job.

It should make it easy for employers to appraise your key skills and work experience to determine whether you’re appropriate for the role.

Flag up the Specific skills gained in each role, that you have to offer the employer.  Keep in mind that this document needs to be targeted for the role you are going for.

Highlight appropriate personal qualities for the role.

Show how you have grown in stature and developed your career across each role.

Include dates and temporary or voluntary jobs if appropriate.

Include extra information, such as reasons for a career change or reasons for gaps in career history, such as caring duties.

Qualifications and Training

Mention interests, especially if the skills are transferable and relevant for the job.

References

Ideally two or more and including a recent employer, or else state that they are available on request.

STAGE FRIGHT (Performance Anxiety)

If you dread the thought of getting up in front of a group of people and performing, you are not alone. Millions of people suffer from performance anxiety, commonly called "stage fright." In fact, most people would rather get the flu than perform. Athletes, musicians, actors, and public speakers often get performance anxiety.

Performance anxiety can prevent you from doing what you enjoy and can affect your career. Worst of all, performance anxiety can negatively affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. Although it may be impossible to totally overcome performance anxiety, there are many things you can do to control your emotions and reduce anxiety.

SYMPTOMS OF PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

Being the center of attention and having all eyes on you can be stressful. Your body reacts to this situation in much the same way as it would if you were being attacked. Your body's "fight-or-flight" mechanism kicks in, which is why symptoms of stage fright are similar to symptoms that occur when you are in real danger.

Performance anxiety symptoms may include:

Ø  Racing pulse and rapid breathing 

ü  Dry mouth and tight throat

ü  Trembling hands, knees, lips, and voice

Ø  Sweaty and cold hands

Ø  Nausea and an uneasy feeling in your stomach

Ø  Vision changes

CAUSES OF PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

Simply put, stress and anxiety about performing in front of people cause performance anxiety. Confronting your fears and vulnerabilities, accepting yourself for who you are, and not feeling like you have to prove yourself to others, is the first step toward overcoming performance anxiety. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect, nobody expects you to be perfect, and it is OK to make mistakes.

The second step is learning how to redirect your negative thoughts, beliefs, images, and predictions about performing in public. Doing this is not as hard as you might think.

PERFORMANCE ANXIETY TREATMENTS

Here are 10 tips to help you overcome your fears and shine on stage, on the field, or at the podium:

Ø  Be prepared: practice, practice, and practice.

Ø  Limit caffeine and sugar intake the day of the performance. Eat a sensible meal a few hours before you are to perform so that you have energy and don't get hungry. A low-fat meal including complex carbohydrates -- whole-grain pasta, pizza, or a bean and rice burrito -- is a good choice.

Ø  Shift the focus off of yourself and your fear to the enjoyment you are providing to the spectators. Close your eyes and imagine the audience laughing and cheering, and you feeling good.

Ø  Don't focus on what could go wrong. Instead focus on the positive. Visualize your success.

Ø  Avoid thoughts that produce self-doubt.

Ø  Practice controlled breathing, meditation, biofeedback, and other strategies to help you relax and redirect your thoughts when they turn negative. It is best to practice some type of relaxation technique every day, regardless of whether you have a performance, so that the skill is there for you when you need it.

Ø  Take a walk, jump up and down, shake out your muscles, or do whatever feels right to ease your anxious feelings before the performance.

Ø  Connect with your audience -- smile, make eye contact, and think of them as friends.

Ø  Act natural and be yourself.

Ø  Exercise, eat a healthy diet, get adequate sleep, and live a healthy lifestyle.

Keep in mind that stage fright is usually worse before the performance and often goes away once you get started

(Culled from Webmd.com)

WHO IS THE REAL THIEF?

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

PLEASE KINDLY DROP YOUR COMMENT

Reasons women don’t really care how attractive a man is..

Guys looking to meet women often ask the question, “Do looks matter?” Well, to put it nicely, no. They don’t matter much, if at all, for women.

How many times have you seen a very attractive woman — I mean, like, super attractive — walking down the street, hand-in-hand with a short, overweight and balding man? I’ll give you a hint: more times than you can count!

Not to say looks won’t help a bit — they will, but only for a brief moment. Looks can give you a slight boost in getting a woman’s “attention,” and that’s about it.

After you start talking to a woman, she won’t care one iota about how chiseled your face is or how big your biceps are. But, I thought all women like nice, chiseled faces and big, muscular arms? Well, fortunately for us men, they don’t! Here are three reasons why:

1. WOMEN ARE BIOLOGICALLY MORE ATTRACTED TO SOCIAL STATUS 

I’m not talking about social status as in fancy cars or gigantic Hollywood mansions.

What I mean by social status is social intelligence. Women are innately attracted to men who are socially skilled.

Guys who can make women laugh, act confidently around them and communicate effectively with them are the men who have high social status.

Men who possess these traits turn on the attraction switches within the minds of women. These switches have been wired since the beginning of time.

I’m talking about when our ancestors were banging rocks and rubbing sticks together, lived in tribes and relied on each other to survive. The men who were most socially adept were considered the alpha males of these groups and were often given the best of everything the tribe had to offer.

They were given the best food, water, shelter and other resources and, therefore, had the best health — something that was incredibly important to a woman looking for a mate.

You see, it wasn’t the most physically dominant or best-looking men who led these groups, but rather, the most socially savvy. We evolved into the most intelligent animals on the planet because of our spoken word and communication.

We conversed, exchanged ideas and prospered as a species because of our incredibly high-regard for interpersonal communication.

Without this, we would not have come so far. (We’d probably still be rubbing sticks together, instead of turning up the heat in our comfortable homes.) With that said, women are naturally endeared to men who possess this quality.

The men who have the highest social status, or social game, are the most attractive of all!

2. MEN CAN MANIPULATE THEIR LEVEL OF ATTRACTIVENESS 

Knowing women are primarily attracted to characteristics like leadership, confidence,humor, social aptitude and other favorable traits is a great thing for guys.

This means we can change our level of attractiveness to women by working on and improving these skills. If attraction was based solely on looks, a lot of us would be screwed!

Thankfully, it’s not, however, and we have a way of increasing our level of it. By working on our personalities and working on the aforementioned quality traits, we can become more desirable in the eyes of more women.

3. LOOKS ARE NOT PERMANENT 

Despite what you may believe, your looks are not permanent. Your mind, heart and soul may be, but your looks are not!

They change every day. We age as each second passes, and our looks alter slightly with each fleeting moment.

Not only that, but we can and constantly do alter our appearance, whether through changing our hairstyle, clothing, physique or something else.

Women intuitively know this. They know that when they meet a guy, he is not going to look the same years down the road. He may lose his hair, gain a belly or just grow old, like all of us do.

They realize this because these same things will happen to them in some capacity. Therefore, women don’t put as much emphasis into the way a guy looks when she meets him.

Men who have the best personalities often attract the most women. They have the confidence, leadership, social skills and charisma to be that quintessential “alpha male” that women desire.

Don’t focus on trying to make yourself physically attractive; instead, focus on building your personality. Do this, and the rest will follow.

And, by the rest, I mean women! Women will desire your personality above all else, so work on crafting a good one.

13 Lessons I Have Learned From Work

I have learnt a few things from the (not so many) places that I have worked at and though I am still learning. 

This is what I have come up with so far.

1. How not to backstab and gossip your way to the top because it is so hard to always look over your shoulder. This is the first cardinal rule as it determines how others perceive you and how they will treat you. If they know that you talk a lot, they might not want you to stick around. 

2. How not to lie your way through situations and how to always take responsibility; because if you don’t someone will blame you first. If you make a mistake, admit it immediately so you don’t end up looking like a fool. You might still end up looking like a fool anyway, but at least you will seem like a slightly more responsible fool. 

 3. How to treat others as you would want to be treated- you never know who might be talking about you and it’s always nice to have a friend in your corner. That means if people ask about you, tell them what they need to know and nothing else. Try to be friendly but not too familiar. If they want to tell you about themselves, let them. But when they want to tell you about someone else that you may or may not know, walk away. Literally walk away. 

4. How we are all just grown children and the term ‘adult’ does not actually have a meaning. Therefore, don’t take anyone too seriously. If they act irrationally- humour them and let them have their way. You are not being a fool- you are being the bigger person and letting them act like the child that they are. 

5. How to always cover my tracks because someone is always watching. Don’t go on social media or anything that is not related to your work. Use your phone sparingly. And if you do any of these things, make sure you don’t get caught. 

6. You thought you had seen or read it all but there is always something that will surprise you. Be prepared for that. 

7. If it’s not your money, don’t spend it anyhow. Enough said. 

8. If family or friends visit, limit your conversation and make them wait for you. You want to seem as deeply committed to your work as possible. This goes along with talking to a colleague that sits across from you or is close to you. Don’t spend endless minutes talking with them. The work might be boring or there might be no work at all, but you are still getting paid for it and so try to look as if you are actually doing it. 

9. Don’t go for too many coffee or toilet breaks (not more than 3 during the day excluding lunch time). Lunch should be the designated time you have been given- do not go over and above that and try not to go below that- this is break time and a break you should have. 

10. The customer is always right- even when they are not. Customer service is most important and every company serves a customer of some sort. Don’t let the customer see all your nonsense or that of the company’s. If they act irrationally- refer to point 4 above. Don’t let them walk all over you but don’t give them attitude either. At the end of the day, your company and your pay depend on how you treat the customer. 

11. Try to have some initiative and come up with new ideas as to how to improve your work. This makes you look like a top asset and shows that you are committed to your work. Even if your ideas are rubbish, the very fact that you are thinking and using your noodle, makes you seem like more of an asset. 

12. Always be punctual. Tardiness is unprofessional and makes you look like uncommitted. Whether its 2 minutes or 5 minutes. If you are going to be late- don’t. But if you have no choice, make sure that you have the number of someone higher up that you can tell that you are running late. 

13. Especially if it is your first job, there will be times when you have no idea what you are doing and you will make a lot of mistakes. There will also be times when you will wonder- are they regretting hiring me for the job? Do I know what I’m doing? Do I really want this? Help! All these thoughts will be running through your mind as you try to learn the ropes. Don’t worry – no one was born knowing what to do and if they say they did they are lying to you and themselves. A friend told me about a saying that she heard- fake it until know it. That means pretend that you know what you are doing until you do. And if you don’t and never will know what you are doing, I suggest you look for something else to do.

22 Ways To Wake Up And Feel Super Positive For The Day

Do you ever wake up and you remember all the stuff you have to do, and you just want to hide under the covers and not come out? That feeling is all too known for many of us but thankfully you don’t have to ever feel this way.

Did you know that our thoughts create our emotions? Since we have total control over our thoughts (I know it might not feel like it sometimes), you also have the power to start your day on a super positive note each and every day. Here are some ways to help you get in the right mindset and enjoy every day as it comes.

1. Try to remember your dreams

Whether you want to analyze them later or just use them as an entertaining and fun video that plays in your head, dreams are a great way to feel more positive for the day. I recommend making sure you get enough sleep but also keeping a dream journal next to your bed so that you can write the dream down as soon as you wake up. Over time, remembering them will become easier and you will be able to make more sense of them as they relate to your own life.

2. Consider what makes you happy

Thoughts create emotions. Happy thoughts create happy emotions. It’s super simple but it’s so true – think about the things you love to do that make you happy. Just visualizing doing something that makes you happy is bound to make you actually feel happier in return.

3. Give gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most important practices I always recommend my clients. It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of negative thinking and eventually forgetting how good you actually have it. When you spend some time in the morning to list out 5 things you are grateful for, it shifts your whole mindset and your day becomes so much brighter.

4. Relax your body

Without physical relaxation, we breed stress and anxiety in our body. Make sure your daily routine includes self-care that allows you to relax your body. Whether it’s a massage, yoga, or a nice bath – relaxing your body is important ingredient to feeling positive every day.

5. Focus on breathing

Throughout the day, the more stress and to-do’s get put on our plates, the more anxiety heighten. We may not even realize that our breathing changes and becomes more shallow as we get stressed out. A really quick and simple tip is take a moment and notice your breathing. Is it shallow? Take some deeper breaths and let them out very slowly. Do this a couple of times and enjoy an increased feel of relaxation within minutes.

6. Don’t attach to your thoughts

Each day we create stories around the circumstances and events that surround us. Researchers say that we have about 60,000 thoughts per day! How exhausting is that? The less you attach to your thoughts and let them pass through without believing them and letting them affect you, the more likely you are to feel at peace and relaxed throughout the day.

7. Stay off social media

If you’re one of the people that checks their social media or email as soon as you wake up – stop that now! I didn’t realize how much it affects you until you stop doing it for a while. Each morning spent away from social media is so much more relaxed, peaceful, and joyful. We aren’t screamed at by a constant influx of information and messages and our mind has the capacity to just be.

8. Prepare a delicious breakfast

Instead of wasting your morning checking your Facebook feed, get yourself to the kitchen and prepare a beautiful delicious (and nutritious) breakfast! Protein pancakes anyone? Sunny side eggs? Perfection. Now, isn’t that somuch better?

9. Establish a meditation practice

Making meditation a non-negotiable in your routine can be a real life-changer! Not only will you feel more peaceful and centered, you will feel more in tune with your body and your surroundings. Don’t worry if you aren’t a seasoned meditator yet. Meditation isn’t just sitting cross-legged humming “Ommmm” – you can do so much more, including dance meditation, mindfulness techniques, hypnosis, and more.

10. Try self-hypnosis recordings

Speaking of hypnosis, this is one of the easier and best ways to get yourself into meditation. There are tons of recordings available for purchase online (99 cents per track on Amazon!) and each one is created specifically to help with a certain problem. Want to feel more positive? There’s a lot of those to choose from.

11. Don’t check your phone until much later

Just as you shouldn’t check your social media right when you wake up, try to refrain from checking your phone until a little bit later too. You’ll really notice how much technology can have a negative effect on our mind and energy levels. Don’t get sucked in too early!

12. Go for a morning run

Ahhh… endorphins! What better way to start the day than with these feel-good hormones? Go for a nice run in the morning, before the weather gets too hot, and you’ll be glad you did.

13. Do an energizing yoga sequence

Another way to get some endorphins flowing in the morning is an energizing yoga sequence. Hop out of bed, roll out your mat and get bendy!

14. Play with your pets

I had a friend who always played with her dog in the morning. They would get breakfast, stretch out and play before heading off to work. It helped her connect with her pet, feel happier, and start the day off on a joyful note. I mean, it’s nearly impossible to be angry or sad after playing with your beloved pet.

15. Read an inspiring book or article

A nice part of your morning routine could be reading blogs you subscribe to. Reading something inspiring and motivating in the morning is bound to get you revved up and ready to tackle the day.

16. Listen to a great inspiring podcast

Similarly as with an inspiring book – listen to a great podcast to get your mind buzzing with motivation to get yourself to the next step in your day.

17. Set your alarm to an uplifting tune

Consider changing your ring tone for the alarm. Don’t use the crazy buzzing noise. Instead, put something nice and melodic that begins soft and gets increasingly louder as time goes. It won’t jerk you awake and you are more likely to enjoy waking up to a lovely sound than you are to something intense, like a regular alarm noise.

18. Create a routine that includes morning self-care

Whatever that might be for you – meditation, yoga, reading, a walk… whatever it is, make sure you make it a part of your routine and something that is non-negotiable. After all having a great day is non-negotiable! The more you do this, the easier it will become.

19. Look at something beautiful

A great way to shift your mood and become more peaceful and uplifted automatically is to look at something beautiful. Maybe it’s a flower, maybe it’s your husband or wife, maybe it’s a painting that’s hanging in your room… whatever it is, take a minute or two just to appreciate its beauty. You’ll be amazed how quickly this tactic works to bring your mood way up!

20. Wake up to clean room

The messier your room is, the messier your mind will feel. I always tell my clients that in order to get your mind organized, you have to get your space organized first. Clean up your room and you’ll notice how much the energy in the room becomes more peaceful and welcoming.

21. Ask yourself “How can I make this day amazing?”

It’s a simple question but it’s so powerful. By simply asking yourself “How can I make today amazing?” you make yourself realize that you are in control of how your day goes and how you feel about it. Then, do the things to make it amazing!

22. Smile regardless of how you might feel at first

Even if you feel like you want to stay in bed for the entire day and mope around, don’t. Smile to yourself. Better yet, look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. My dad does this every single morning for a minute or two and he swears it changes his whole mood and outlook for the entire day. It’s worth a try!

Four Keys to Help You Forgive

Anger. Fear. Hostility. Bitterness. Rage. Resentment. Have you ever felt any of these emotions toward someone; maybe even someone you love? These angry feelings are called “hot” emotions, and they fuel an unforgiving spirit.

When we’re hurt, our angry our feelings don’t go away overnight. In fact, we can spend days, weeks, months, even years turning them over and over in our minds, feeling just as angry as the moment the offense that caused them occurred.

Who the heck wants to live like this? It only causes stress, high blood pressure and a whole host of other problems. If you’ve ever been boiling mad at someone and still feel the fire at the mention of his or her name, you may want to consider the “F” word—forgiveness.

Sounds great, but how do we go about forgiving someone who has mortally wounded us? Well, for starters we don’t bury it, we don’t ignore it, thinking in time that it will go away, and we certainly shouldn’t minimize our pain or pretend it didn’t hurt us.

Before we look at how to forgive, let’s talk about what forgiveness is and isn’t. Forgiveness is a means of release for the person holding the debt; that would be you. Forgiveness is for your benefit, but it isn’t saying that what the other person did was ok.

What can we do to stop the madness of ruminating angry thoughts and walk the healing path? Here are some tips to help move you along on the forgiveness journey:

Make a list

The first step in forgiveness is to take an account of the offense. Take a piece of paper and make three columns. Write the offenders name at the top of the page. In the first column, write down the event that happened that made you angry. In the second, write down how you felt about it and what you came to believe about yourself as a result of the other person’s offense. In the last column, write down what you had hoped for or expected from that person. This will translate into your loss. Here’s an example: Event: your husband was unfaithful. Feelings: anger, hurt, rejection. Beliefs: I’m not good enough. I’m unlovable. Loss: betrayal, identity, self-esteem, hope. Then decide if you can allow God to meet the needs you lost through this transgression. Can you trust him as your security, adequacy and value? Pray a prayer of forgiveness releasing the person from the debt owed you.

Stop ruminating

Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself. Rumination creates more anxiety and depression and there is no life there. Turning things over and over in your mind only keeps you stuck. Choose to intentionally focus on the Scriptural truths about forgiveness.

Take a risk

Just because you don’t feel like forgiving doesn’t mean you can’t do it. The truth is you will never feel like it. The question is what is the best response you can make to address the hurts and losses you will incur in life? The answer is to give the altruistic gift of forgiveness. Risking forgiving someone who has hurt you can remove a huge weight off your shoulders and probably add a few years to your life too.Medical studies have found that people who have forgiven others for a major transgression have lower blood pressure and heart rates when compared to those who have not.

Restoration is different than reconciliation

Reconciliation takes two people, you and the person who offended you. When the offender comes to you, the offended, you have to decide if you will grant forgiveness. That doesn’t necessarily mean you want to be restored in relationship with this person. Restoration means you and the other person mutually decide what the nature of the relationship will be as you move forward. Boundaries may need to be drawn or the relationship may need to be terminated.

Angry feelings won’t go away overnight. Forgiveness starts with a decision of the will but is born out in the emotions. Once you’ve decided to forgive the offender, focus on the virtues of love, empathy and compassion as a means to develop emotional forgiveness. Allow yourself time and space, but remember forgiveness is for your benefit. Start today and give the altruistic gift of forgiveness.
Back at you: Have you ever forgiven someone? If so, what were the long-term benefits? If not, what’s hindering you?

Hating someone is injurious to one’s own health since it causes anger within, and this annoyance can take a toll on one’s health if it builds too high. How to Forgive Someone You Really Hate

10 Things You Learn When You’re In A Good Relationship.

I’d had serious relationships before meeting my fiancee, with a couple lasting for years. I thought I was an adult; I thought I knew how to be a great boyfriend. Meeting someone I had a serious connection with taught me that nothing I had experienced before was real. True love feels different than casual relationships – even if those relationships lasted for years (often well past their expiration date!). When you’re in a good relationship, you learn things. You act differently; you think as part of a team, not as an individual making your way through the world. You’ll be more understanding and accepting of your partner, instead of just getting frustrated with them like you may have with past relationships.

1. Misunderstandings are inevitable.

Misunderstandings are going to happen. If you take your partner’s words one way, then learn they meant something totally different, don’t punish them. Let it go. Bringing it up all the time is only going to bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later. Sometimes what you say or do will be taken the wrong way, and you’ll get frustrated that your partner doesn’t understand. Take a step back and realize it’s not a big deal. Misunderstandings are made to be swept under the rug because they’re so minor. They only become problems if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Be laid back and forgive misunderstandings.

2. Learn to trust them.

You have to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they’re doing something wrong every time you turn your back? If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring, or anything else, then you’re not in a good relationship. The best relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up (and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you together.

3. Let yourselves miss each other.

You’re in love, so you want to be together all the time! It’s so fun to cuddle all night and be together all day, but when will you have time to experience different things? When you go to separate workplaces or schools, you experience things that will give you something to talk about later. When you go out with your friends and your partner spends time with theirs, you have time and space to yourself and come back to each other refreshed. You have a chance to miss each other, and it helps you really understand the value of your relationship. Missing someone is great because getting to see them after that period will make you so happy and so sure of your relationship.

4. Encourage growth and change.

In a good relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change. You have one life to live – you should explore it to the fullest! If you want to quit your job and go back to school, your partner should support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should find support in your relationship. And you should give this support in return. Encourage your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you want your partner to stay the same, you’re going to have a very boring life together.

5. Compromising doesn’t mean you’re weak.

Compromising doesn’t mean “giving in.” It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost the fight. In fact, it’s the opposite. Do you know how hard it is to compromise sometimes? You want your way because it sounds right and makes sense to you. Your partner is way off base with their suggestions. Take a step back and look at the argument diplomatically. What’s the logical conclusion? If your partner is right, don’t be afraid to say so. Accept their way, or modify both of your solutions to be half and half. The important thing is not getting your way, it’s staying in your relationship and helping it grow. Compromising will definitely help your relationship grow.

6. Admit your weaknesses.

Your partner doesn’t expect you to be a superhero, and hopefully you don’t expect that of them! We’re all human; we all have flaws. It’s ok to let these show. In fact, to have a stable, serious relationship, you need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more sensitive to things that bother you, and can help build you up in areas where you need some help.

7. Sometimes you can only accept things, not fix them.

People have baggage. You have some. Your partner has some. Can you go back and erase all of this? Nope! You’re stuck with it, and have to learn to deal with it. Some things are easier to get over than others, but the reality is that sometimes, you can’t fix things. You can’t make problems go away. You have to accept them and get over them and move on, or else your relationship will crumble.

8. Forgive quickly and truly.

Whenever you have a fight, don’t worry about who wins or who loses. Learn from the fight – from what was said as much as from how it was resolved. Once you learn from a fight, you can apply that lesson to your relationship to avoid trouble later. That’s all well and good, but you’re not done! Forgive your partner! Forgive yourself. The fight is over, you’re past it, now let it go. Never hold anything against your partner because the resentment will build until you don’t want to be with them.

9. Never expect anything.

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, or to bring you breakfast in bed, or to offer to wash the dishes. It’s not going to happen. You can’t expect anything from anyone – you have to make it known. Communicate. Make sure your partner knows what you expect from the relationship, as well as your opinions on a wide variety of issues. This will help them act considerate towards you, but still – don’t expect anything!

10. Show your feelings.

• The worst thing you can do in a relationship is play games. Don’t tease your partner; don’t “reward” good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure your partner always feels loved. You can be happy with them or be mad at them – it doesn’t matter – they just need to feel loved. They need to know your feelings in the moment as well, don’t get me wrong. But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a way that they won’t be misunderstood .