Many people tend to ignore this topic as they only care about the result, however, you can't achieve your desired result without knowing what exactly you are looking for?!
Give yourself a quiet moment now, stop thinking about your problems, as you are embarking on the journey to settle them all....
Often I heard people ask "How can I find my true love?" But how many of us really know what we are searching for?
How can you find something if you don't really know what it is?
There are thousands of different definitions about Love, I am not asking you to simply search for the definition, the exercise here is to trigger you to define your desired love. What kind of feelings, behaviors, situations and etc will make you feel in love?
If you are not clear about it, even when love accidentally land on your lap, it will slowly leave again as you do not understand what it is asking and giving.
ACT Now: Get a paper and pen (no, not your Smartphone: you will only get distracted) and write down what true love means to you. Everyone of us have different definition, you don't have to get approval or permission from anyone only your heart!
After you finish the above, now start to think What Exactly Do You Want?
If you have already defined your own true love, you should define your ideal partner. Write down your own 'rules'.
I have heard people say: "actually i don't have criteria for my ideal partner, as long as she/he loves me, we are happy together!"
BUT, sorry, it doesn't work this way! We all have certain criteria about our ideal partner, either we don't want to think about it or we don't want to admit it. By denying this lead many people to keep dating the "wrong person".
When the relationship is new, you both might take your requirements lighter, however, for a longer time, you will start to blame or complain at each other for the 'things' you don't want in your love life. Many of us have this experience right?
This is the problem if you are not clear about what you want at the first place!
You don't have to list down everything about your ideal partner, but certain criteria, especially the ones that are essential to you.
While some things on your list can be negotiable, you should also include a few ‘deal breakers.’
Only include the things that you truly and strongly feel about and might cause potential problem in your future relationships.
For instance, if you know for sure you want to have kids, it doesn’t make sense to plan a future with someone who doesn't want to have children at all.
Only include the things that you truly and strongly feel about and might cause potential problem in your future relationships.
For instance, if you know for sure you want to have kids, it doesn’t make sense to plan a future with someone who doesn't want to have children at all.
And a silly thought many of us have is to CHANGE the person, "if she/he loves me, she/he will change" Reality is not like this, doing so will only make both parties suffer.
If you already know she/he is not the ideal one you are looking for, don't force it! Don't settle for less, you deserve much better than you thought!
Think..
I really hope you enjoy today's mini exercise and truly hope you take them seriously. It is not rocket science, but many people don't tell you like this...
Feel free to let me know if you need any help on this too:)
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