My life remains a
mystery that I am yet to understand. Growing up was in between tough and easy.
I was taught everything, including things I wish not to know.
I found myself in the
ocean of players, guys who change ladies like T-shirts, and sex to them was
like drinking water. A thirst I doubt they will ever get enough of. I knew all
the techniques and principles of the best players. I knew all the lines and
rhymes to woo a lady and get a YES at first attempt. I was told that love is
used to comfort the weak and that real men don't fall in love.
I grew up feeling
like a rat in the mist of cats. The more I knew how they do what they do, the
more I dislike what they do. I found it difficult to picture myself deceiving
or cheating a lady. I finally ran into people who feel the way I feel. People
who taught me how to cherish and respect women. I taught my childhood was a
waste till I heard Martin Lawrence say in one of his movies that “TO CATCH A
THIEF, SEND A THIEF.” So I figured it out that I can actually use the same
knowledge against them.
And I did, I started
teaching people (especially ladies) how to find true love and know when they
are being played. I also helped guys like me to get off the mind that love is
for the weak. As I continued day by day, I felt fulfilled knowing that I helped
someone avoid getting hurt to discovering true love in relationship. I got
committed to fixing the emotional lives of others and felt happy as each one of
them discovers true love.
But while I did all
this, I never felt anything emotionally personal for any one of them except the
passion of their pain and how I can help them through it. I was too committed
to others and felt I don't need a girlfriend. The idea of falling in love with
someone else aside God and what I do never came to me, at least not till that
fateful day I ran into her. She has the most tender and loving eyes I have ever
seen. I promised to make her a perfect lady. I become dedicated to fixing all
her short comings, and finally she was ready. I have transformed someone who
felt rejected and had low self-esteem to an epitome of beauty. The perfect
bride for any Godly man, and for the first time, I broke my own rule of ever
falling in love with a client. I really had no choice, she has become
spiritually, morally, emotionally, physically, financially, academically and
socially ready for a mature and Godly relationship
I fell in love with
my own invention or transformation as you would call it. I gave up almost
everything to make her the best. All I wanted was to see her happy because her
smile lighten up my world and gave life to everything dead in me. I cancelled
trips and appointment she wasn't happy with just to see her smile. I gave her
everything I have, I promise not to touch her till we walk down the aisle; I
respected her body and feelings, I wanted to make her my first and last lady.
Well, I guess some
things are only true in fairy tales. I found out that I have been fooled. She
is a perfect girl, now she seeks the perfect guy. I spent my time, knowledge
and money to make her ready, now she desires a finish work like hers. She now
uses the very same information I taught her to deal with me. Finally it dawned
on me how far we have become apart. I realized that she now travel at the speed
of light with the some energy I gave her.
''Can they be right''
I asked myself, is love truly a comfort for the weak and lonely. But then, I
have helped others find and I still see them together till date, even some
which led to marriage with children. How was I able to fix the life of others
and not fix mine? How could I know so much about love and still feel love is
not for me.
I have seen doctors
treat themselves, barber cut themselves and hair dressers make their own hairs.
So I ask myself, why can't I fix my love life. Why should I feel I'm been
played when I know the technique and rhythms of the best player.
All these questions
ran through my mind as I woke up with her info on my head. I guess for now, I
just have to go back and find fulfillment in what I was doing before I met her,
and let God decide her fate. I wish her best of luck in all her aspirations.
For me, it was a new
dawn, though it hurts and I am ashamed to admit it. She actually opened my eyes
to a part of me I never paid attention to. I now know that God does some things
to us to teach or to correct some things in our lives. We might think or never
know we have them in us till God x-ray us and allow us to see the weak and
broken bones in us. The x-ray might be difficult but when He is done, we
understand that it is all for our good. No wonder the bible says ''....there is
a way that seems right to a man, but the end is destruction...'' Always allow
God to show you His plans. You will see you were aiming too low.
TO BE CONTINUED
No comments:
Post a Comment