Benefits of Crying

The ups and downs of life dictate that we must shed a tear occasionally, as a result of happiness or sadness. Though it feels awkward to cry sometimes, there are several spiritual, physiological and psychological benefits of crying. For this reason, it is always advisable to cry when you feel like it, but do not overdo it. Here are a few benefits of crying.

Keeping harmful physical objects at bay

Reflex tears are shed when our eyes are exposed to extreme conditions of smoke, dust or exhaust waste. Additionally, most people shed physical tears when cutting onions. These tears are essential in eye watering and protection of the eyes against harmful physical irritants. They ensure that the eyes remain in a constantly favorable working condition. The fact that they are produced by a reflex action adds color to the already good package.

Lubrication

Continuous or basal tears keep eyeballs and eyelids lubricated and hydrated. This enhances eyesight and reduces the risk of eye diseases and poor eye sight. Dehydrated eyes are a risk factor for pain in the eyes, limited eyeball movement and consequently constrained eyesight. Tears also contain lysozyme which fights bacteria and viruses in the eyes. Whenever we use computers, watch television or expose our eyes to bacteria prone areas, we risk poor eyesight. In this situation, tears come in handy to fight the pathogens that may have accumulated in our eyes.

Release of tension and stress

Emotional tears release the toxins and hormones that are accumulated when we are under stress. Some of these hormones include prolactin, leucine-enkephalin and Adrenocorticotrophic hormone (ACTH). This hormones work in tandem with other disease-causing organisms to cause high blood pressure, heart diseases and other obesity-related ailments. Crying thus alleviates the adverse effects of chemical and hormonal imbalance that comes with stress and tension. Emotional tears also stimulate the release of endorphins which restore our bodies into wellness. Indeed, perspiration and crying are highly related.

Mood elevation

Crying is the way to deal with sadness, grief, frustration and anxiety. Though it is said that there is no need to cry over split milk, crying elicits a feeling of emotional cleansing. In fact, it is only after a deep cry that one feels closer to spiritual healing. Actually, crying plasters pleasure and gratification on people’s faces as if the heavenly angels have shown them the direct way to paradise. This is because crying lowers the level of manganese in the body, keeping anxiety, nervousness, irritability and emotional disturbance at a lower level. When people are overwhelmed with happiness, crying leads them to a calm state of mind.

Individual and community health

A person who is crying in the public is like a candle in dim light; people get attracted to him or her like moths to flames. While the person gets emotional and physical healing, the community also sympathizes with him or her, creating a social bond that is bound with cord that cannot be broken. This promotes peaceful co-existence and a sense of belonging.

It is always advisable to experience emotions whenever they come. It may be embarrassing to cry but it is only after crying that you realize that you have done yourself a great favor. Do not hesitate to cry whenever you feel the urge to do so.

Why You Should Dump Your Partner Today, Not Tomorrow

More often than not, relationships don’t end mutually. Many times, one partner or another wants to break up and truth is that both the person who is being dumped and the person who is doing the dumping are having a hard time. Since ending a relationship is not easy, many people procrastinate and end up delaying a break up for a long time which might in the end work against them.

Why People Delay a Break Up

It’s not unusual for a person to want to end a relationship but they keep delaying because they feel responsible for making the other person feel sad or making him or her cry. Love is a gamble. People who are in relationships are responsible for their own actions and their partner should not protect them. Keep in mind that people and situations change. You can’t expect this relationship to last forever. It’s better to end a relationship sooner rather than later when all that resentment has built up.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

If you were in their shoes, wouldn’t you want to know what’s going on? Before being lovers, you are friends. That’s why you keep procrastinating, because you care about them as a friend. Well, you must be completely honest to your friends, otherwise the lies simply keep piling up. Don’t keep them in the dark any longer because they will eventually find out one way or the other that you’ve been delaying it for so long.

You’re Putting Your Love Life on Hold

If you delay breaking up with your current lover, then you should understand that you’re putting your love life on hold. Without cheating, there’s no way you can put yourself out there and try to find someone who is truly compatible with who you are today. Your current partner might also miss the love of their life simply because you keep delaying the break up.

Faking Love Only Makes Things Worse

People say that love grows stronger with each passing day. And this might not be the case for you, but for your partner it probably is. With each day that passes, they will love you more or plan for a future, a holiday, marriage, creating a life together. By keeping them straddled alongside, you will only make it that much harder for them when you finally decide to leave. By ending it sooner, you’re doing both yourselves a favor.

A Lie You May Start Believing

By going on and on with the same lie that you love him or her, you may end up believing it. You might settle for this relationship because it’s here already and it’s comfortable and you don’t have to work for it. But this won’t make you truly happy in the end. By ending the relationship today you will end the lie once and for all.

Put an end to the relationship today. Stop delaying the breakup because you might end up living a lie every day of your life. Or you might fake it too well and it will go on until your partner is in too deep. Don’t put your love life on hold and stop protecting others by not putting yourself first. And remember, be honest with the people you care about!

Why Men Cannot Be “Just a Friend” to Many Women

It is common to see a lot of men claim that the girl they are hanging with is just a friend. Most people understand that what starts as friendship may not remain that way forever. There are a lot of complexities and tensions which prevent a sustainable platonic friendship. A common proverb states that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This may be a bit of an exaggeration, but it makes a valid point. It is very rare for men to remain friends with women who they find attractive. Men generally approach girls they feel attracted to. Although they may start out as friends, the guy will eventually disclose his intentions if he is still attracted to his female friend.

Friendships Usually Don’t Last Forever

No one likes to hear that friendships cannot last forever. However, friendship between a man and woman can be difficult to sustain forever. Many friendships transmute into another form of a relationship such as love, dating, marriage etc. Men who are attracted to their female friends will most likely approach the woman with prospects of a relationship or marriage. In cases where the woman agrees, the friendship transforms into love or marriage. If the woman disagrees, their friendship will most likely come to an end. The last thing that guy needs to witness, is the woman of his dreams being with someone else. Men would rather cut off all ties with the woman, than subject himself to emotional torture.

Less Common Situations

A friendship between a man and woman built on common interests such as art, academics, music, etc may seem to last longer. It is very common to see a doctor married to a surgeon, a music professional married to another musician, etc. because that was most likely a major connecting bond for the couple. However, a platonic friendship can better be developed in these situations because the two had been working together for so long that they developed a “brother and sister” bond, and any feelings of attraction have come and gone.

Greatest friendships recorded in history are those between people of the same sex. It is very uncommon to come across famous friendships between people of opposite sex. It is even more uncommon to come across this situation in younger people.

It is very rare to come across enduring long lasting platonic friendships between a man and woman. A superficial form of friendship is definitely possible between a man and woman due to work, business, or recreation, but there may come a point when the guy cannot contain it any longer. With his feelings out in the open, it’s either a relationship further develops into dating or their friendship begins to fade. There are times when men can be platonic friends with girls but that can be hard to find.

Reasons For Cheating

Infidelity in a relationship is not the best thing especially if it is your partner doing it. It hurts even more when that person you trust and can’t do without, cheats on you. People in marriages and even youthful boys and girls cheat on each other due to various reasons. One of the repercussions of infidelity while in a serious relationship is a break up or divorce. After cheating once, convincing your partner that you have changed is very hard since an element of suspicion will always be in their hearts. The following is a breakdown of why people cheat on their spouses.

1. Uncontrolled Lust

Many people fall in love with someone just because of a single feature. Some of the features include body physique, education, financial stability, fame and many other issues. Unfortunately, it sometimes happens that your love for your partner fades out with time. This means that you didn’t love your partner in the first place. Instead, you only lusted for something that they had. After some time, you will probably cheat on your partner since he/she no longer possesses what you liked.

On the other hand, someone may cheat on their partner due to uncontrolled sexual appetite. When the relationship involves sex, a partner with an uncontrollable sexual appetite will always cheat whenever the other partner is not available. Lustful spouses will always cheat by sleeping with other people.

The other situation is when you have a sex partner who has a higher sex drive. This means that if he/she doesn’t get satisfied at home, they will have to look for satisfaction from somewhere else.

2. Lack Of Trust

Any relationship or marriage whereby partners do not trust each other will always be befallen by infidelity from either partner. Suspicion in a relationship is the foundation of cheating. This is because many people tend to seek revenge based on the accusation that the other partner cheated on them. This tends to form a string of cheats in a relationship since one of the spouses might resolve to revenge as many times with as many people as possible.

3. Material Wants

Many partners are sometimes very demanding and when the other party does not respond positively, they opt to get what they want from somewhere else. Many marriages and relationships are always faced with this problem of feeling unsatisfied from one of the partners. Many young ladies believe that when you have multiple relationships, you will be able to have a good wardrobe as well as have a fat bank account. Even in marriages, both men and women have developed the feeling of discontent. Wives want fashionable garments while men focus on getting extra cash to make their own partners. This desire to have more creates a string of cheats in a relationship afterwards.

4. Low Self-Esteem

When either of the partners has low self esteem in a relationship, infidelity results. Men will cheat on their spouses if their partner does not appreciate their performance in bed. And very possibly, men may cheat on their spouse when their sexual demands are not met. On the other hand, women may cheat on their men when they feel they are not being appreciated in their relationship. Infidelity acts as a way of reclaiming their esteem.

‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’ is a subjective statement. This is because different people have different mentalities. If a partner has cheated on you, it will depend on how you react to the infidelity. A good partner will tell you what led to the infidelity. After this, you will be able to resolve the issue. On the other hand, a bad partner who doesn’t truly love you, will always cheat on you.

Ways To Rekindle The Spark In A Relationship

 The main cause of many failed relationships is because the flame fades out. Many couples don’t know how to rekindle the fire that used to be strong in their relationship. When a spark goes out in a relationship, every partner concentrates on his/her personal issues forgetting that there is another partner they live together. At this stage, igniting the spark which used to exist between them is an uphill task. However, partners who still have feelings for each other can rekindle their affection with ease as opposed to those who no longer have love for one another. If you really want to ignite that fire in your relationship, then read the tips below.

1. Engage Yourselves In New Activities

This is said to be the best way to reignite the fire in a relationship. The best way to do this is by reminding yourselves about the best things you did while still dating. Involve yourselves in those activities which used to keep you happy during that time. Try outings to places you all liked visiting or go to restaurants where all of you used to enjoy a certain meal. Doing so could revive the feelings you used to have during that time. Also, the enjoyment you will have automatically rekindles the love you used to share and this brings back that passion you once shared.

2. Stay Positive

In order to reignite that love you had with your partner, stop saying negative things about him/her. This will bring back the feeling that you still value them in your life. Furthermore, it also brings back the smiles your partner used to reply back to you after every compliment. To men, telling your wife they are beautiful is enough to reignite love because she will think that you haven’t seen any other girl who is more beautiful than her, meaning she is still the special one.

3. Communicate More Often

This has been the major undoing in many relationships. If this has happened in your relationship, try texting, emailing or calling your partner more often. If he/she is at work, tell him/her that you miss her badly or even tell them how you will give them a good night of loving. This will actually build expectations in them and by so doing, those sexual pleasures you used to have while still dating will be rekindled.

4. Surprises

Doing the unexpected in a relationship shows that you still value your partner. This impacts more effectively when done in public. Coming home carrying rose flowers for your partner could be the least thing they expect from you especially if you have been married for many years. This means that taking a step and doing it will arouse that feeling of feeling loved.

Alternatively, you may kiss your partner in public just to prove that your love can still be trusted! This will surely rekindle the spark you used to have in your relationship in the past.

5. Treat Them Special As You Used To

Getting out of the house for a few days to an interesting place will bring back the memories you had while dating. It doesn’t have to be very far from home. Taking your spouse to dinner and spend some quality time with them. Talk about how you want your relationship to be and how you will love them till the end of times among other issues that can improve your love life. This will rekindle the fire that used to exist between the two of you.

All relationships are faced with this problem of losing that spark due to commitments, age, or lack of interest in your partner. However, the above tips are very helpful in reigniting that spark that has faded off in your relationship.

What To Do If A Relationship Starts To Get Sour

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Everyone in a relationship expects the best but sometimes the contrary happens. A relationship which used to be admired by many turns out to be dramatic. Perhaps at this stage, the two partners might sit back and decide that the outcome won’t affect them. This is just a cover up of the feelings of fear in losing the partner. Several signals can be used to determine if a relationship is on its way out. They include lack of communication, physical and emotional abuse among others. When these signs emerge, it is time to act sooner than later to save the relationship. Healing a relationship requires tools to fix it properly. The following tools are very essential in fixing a relationship that is starting to go bad.

1. Determine What is Going On

Many people in a relationship always blame each other when the relationship is on a rocky path. However, this is not the best approach to solve the problem. This is because the blame game only induces anxiety and aggravates anger. When a relationship is rocky, both partners need to sit down, diagnose the problem in the relationship and troubleshoot to come up with amicable solutions. The solution should involve laying down of strategies that can stop the problem from recurring again. It should also answer the following questions, why? who? and what?

2. Discuss Who or What Caused The Problem And Then Accept Responsibility

Healthy relationships do not take a day to be what they are. Bad relationships too, take time as well. If you sense that your relationship is starting to go bad, most probably there is something behind it. In order to fix issues at this time, every partner should check what they might have contributed and what could have led to their actions. By doing so, it shall create an open room for both partners to air out their grievances, correct one another and then accept responsibility. Accepting responsibility is one of the best ways to save a relationship which is not working out as expected.

3. Adopt New Relationship Rules

If a couple senses that their relationship is turning out to be bad or rather on an ending lane, it is time to re-evaluate new options on how to improve the relationship. After diagnosing what caused bumps in your relationship and accepting responsibility, it is now time to lay down measures that could serve as a hindrance to future problems. These rules shall depend on what caused the relationship to deviate away from the way it used to be at first. Issues like frequent communication, physical and emotional satisfaction, boredom, disagreements among other factors have to be addressed. If one of the issues is a causative agent, then relevant measures have to be put in place.

4. Rekindle The Love You Used To Share While Dating

This will rekindle the feelings you had for each other when you first met. Go to restaurants you used to eat dinner, visit the parks and places you used to make love from. This will arouse the love fireworks you had. Believe it or not, the relationship will be brought back on track.

It is not easy to always have a perfect relationship. Every relationship turns into a bad state at times but it’s all upon the couple to diagnose the problem and follow the above tips to stabilize the relationship. There is no bad relationship that cannot be revived. Take the above steps and have a happy relationship ever after.

7 Things A Man Only Does If He’s Serious About You

Are you wondering if a guy is serious about you? There are some things guys make a conscious effort to not do for women they’re not serious about. So, if you catch your guy doing these, you can be sure he knew exactly what he was doing. And he is hoping to be in it for the long haul.

1. Ask about “that thing”

If you had a job interview you were nervous about, or a doctor’s appointment, a meeting about a possible promotion, or just something you had once mentioned was coming up and he makes a point of calling you up after to ask how it went, he is serious about you. Men who aren’t serious about a woman make a point of not asking for too many details about her life.

2. Clarify missed calls

Did he take hours to call back? Did he completely forget to text back? If you’re just someone he is having temporary fun with, he isn’t concerned about you getting pissed about those things. But if he makes a point of saying, “Hey, sorry for taking so long, I was hung up in etc, etc” or “Oh my god I just realized you sent me a text when I was at work and I completely forgot to answer! I’m so sorry!” then you’re not someone he is willing to let go of easily. (Men know how much delayed call or text-backs upset us).

3. Offer to help

When you mention that you’re moving, or putting together some furniture, or looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help? Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? Men don’t do that just for a woman they are trying to sleep with or casually date for a short period of time. They save that type of effort for ones they are serious about.

4. Plan ahead

If you’re just a fling to him, you are (unfortunately) kind of replaceable. But, if he is serious about you, no one else’s presence will do. You’ll know that is the case if he asks you a significant amount of time ahead of time to reserve a day so that you can be his date to something. That means he wants to guarantee he gets your time.

5. Care about your career

If he really cares about you, he wants all the other things in your life that make you happy to go as well as possible! If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your career, and coming up with suggestions for how you could advance it or be happier in it, he plans on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good. Because he plans on being with you then and he wants to be with a woman who is happy.

6. Brags about you

If he isn’t serious about you, he may bring you to a party or a friend’s get together, but he’ll most likely leave you to fend for yourself. If he is serious about you, he is proud of you, and he will make a point of being near you to introduce you to people and tell them all about you and your accomplishments.

7. Just wants to cuddle

No man who is trying to keep things casual is going to make the terrible mistake of sending a, “Can’t you just be next to me so we can cuddle?” text. They know that sends a serious signal. If a guy sends this type of text, he likes you.

How to Make a Guy Fall in Love with You.

It turned out that there’s no BEST way to make a guy fall in love with you but in fact, there are actually a series of steps which, if followed correctly can make that guy you like, fall in love with you

Step 1 – Attraction:

This is the first and probably most important step. Almost 99% of the time, a guy’s interest can and will be started with attraction. If there’s no attraction, then the chances of that guy falling for you are pretty slim.

This does not mean that you have to look like Scarlet Johansson, because beauty alone does not define attraction. It all comes down to your inner confidence, being comfortable with who you are and what you look like.

Taking care of yourself is absolutely paramount, regardless of where you are in a relationship. Things like exercise can have a profound impact on how you look but also on how you feel about yourself. You don’t have to go through some grueling diets or insane exercise programs. Find something that you love doing and try your best to stick to it. This can be anything from running 15 minutes a day, going to zumba classes, yoga, doing some at home workout programs. The basic gist of it is that if you love doing it, you’re going to do it more often and stick to it for a much longer period of time.

Also, keep in mind these scientifically proven beauty tips to get a guy interested:

• Red Lips – Studies have shown on countless occasions that red lips make a woman more attractive. It’s usually believed that it works because red lips represent a sign of fertility.
• Lined Lids – Another known fact is that mascara and eye-lines create a contrast that enhances your feminine sensuality.
• Thick Locks – Hair is the first thing men notice about a woman even before the br**sts. The hair is also the medium in which women release the highest amount of pheromones so, a clean, thick, shiny hair is a good indication of good health and will surely attract men all around you.
• Flushed Cheeks – This is yet another sign of fertility and youth that makes you more attractive and appealing to men. A subtle pale Pink blush for a fresh natural look will go a long way.

And let’s not forget about the clothes you wear. It’s always important to dress in order to flatter and complement your personal style. Never wear something that you’re not comfortable with, guys will be able to sense it and it’s a major turn off.

All of these tips can be implemented by ANY woman because they have nothing to do with your actual physical appearance.

Step 2 – Breeze Through It

There’s some attraction and you started to meet up. You have started talking more often, texting but don’t really know where this is going. Don’t dwell on that, just breez through it.
Don’t obsess, don’t plot and don’t stress yourself. More importantly, don’t consider yourself off the market just because there’s this guy in your life that you really, really like. It’s important to keep your options open and to give him enough space in order for him to come to you. Also, make sure you STOP checking your phone every minute, it will not make him text you more often.

Step 3 – Keep Cool and Focus on YOUR Life
Even if things are starting to get more serious, you’re meeting eachother more, you’re talking even more, you feel that a deeper connection has been made…keep cool and continue with your life, exactly the same as it was before you started dating.

Sure, you can give him a BIT more time but don’t drop everything and start focusing your life around him. Keep seeing your friends, going to clubs, working out, whatever it was that you were doing before he came into your life.

It’s important to realize that part of the reason he’s into you is the fact that you had a busy life outside of any relationship. He might have been with very needy girls and you are finally different. Don’t turn into those girls just because you’ve got a guy now.

Step 4 – The Time to Put a Label is Here…Or Is it?

It’s very important to realize one thing. Do you want to be with HIM? Or do you want to be with SOMEONE? You need to understand the essence of these questions in order to fully understand what you want from HIM.

Men love to be adored and appreciated. For us, it’s an amazing feeling when a woman that we’re into, sees who we truly are and wants to be with us regardless of our flaws.
On the other hand, we see a woman that just WANTS a boyfriend as a major turnoff. We know that if she’s that desperate, then it must mean there’s nothing special about us since any guy could easily fill that void in her life.

Many women get caught up on the desire to have a boyfriend that they fail to recognize and understand the person they’re dating. When a man feels that you appreciate his uniqueness, and when he sees that he’s contributing positively to your life, that man will never hesitate to make it official.

If you’re doing everything right and he still won’t put that label on you. Leave him! If he really cares and wants you in his life, he’ll never allow you to leave.

Step 5 – Give Him What He Wants – Appreciation, Acknowledgement and Respect

From a man’s point of view, respect and appreciation are the pillars of any relationship. All men really want, is to make that woman they love/like happy and to feel that you see and appreciate them for what they did. Appreciating him after you’ve seen all of his bad and weak sides will make him want you ever more. Unfortunately, this sort of appreciation can’t be faked. It has to be genuine. When he does something for you, doesn’t matter how big or small, show him that you noticed and that you appreciate it. The more specific you are with your compliments and acknowledgments, the better.

What Men and Women Think after Sex

Last week I started an extensive thought-provoking discussion: I started enumerating what actually goes on in the minds of partners shortly after séx. Many partners in relationships are eager to travel down the memory lane with their loved ones immediately after séx. This inquisition is based on the quest to know if or whether their partners’ professed love and commitment is actually a reality or a mirage.

Dating partners or intending couples are not left out either. They want to know the truth. It has helped a lot of ‘about to be married’ partners to take decisions about their relationships. It has even helped avert a supposedly doomed marriage.

When a guy is only interested in a séxual intimacy and not a committed relationship, one of the cardinal signals is his thought shortly after séx, especially in a one-night stand. Once he is done, the next thing he does is staring at the ceiling with thoughts of choosing the right time to bid goodbye or how to get such free séxual favour over and again. And sometimes, some guys might not really want to end such so far the girl in question is willing to freely give séxual favour...

They can play along till they are ready to change séx partners. At this crucial time, it is important for the girl in question to cleverly ask what the guy is actually thinking about. When he is caught unawares, his reaction, facial expression, body movement and verbal expression or remark will definitely give him away. However some guys are so smart and could outwit the girl and pretend they are in such relationship for real. But close observation is needed here; it is important for the lady to watch out for some unconscious remarks, jokes, expressions and telephone conversations.

Some other guys who are indecisive nonetheless may be ready for commitment. They may be wondering what step to take next. Should he be calling her up to ask for another date? Should he be making conversations with her on a daily basis? Should he make his intention of commitment to her known? Can séx be the true measure of her commitment? How must he behave with her now that they had quenched their physical thirst? At this stage, a girl in love should try and start a sincere soul searching conversation with him so as to be able to measure the level of his commitment. 

Many times, girls make the mistake of thinking that séxual relationship prior to marital commitment makes the relationship solid. I do not think so because there may be nothing left to imagination again. Séxual encounters between the married seal the bond of intimacy more than imagined but séxual encounters between singles sour the union. Séx is never a good measure of a commitment in a relationship.

Séx is a means to an end and not an end itself; so it must be handled with every atom of carefulness. It must never be put up as bait for a good relationship. The primary test of commitment is to look out for real love because everyone wants to love and be loved. Even in a marriage relationship, great séx life between husband and wife does not connote nor present a great marriage, but rather an established loving companionship.

Singles should not jump and make séx a yardstick for a good one. It is better not to be in a relationship than be in one that séx is only the activity of the day. Singles must be convinced that the relationship is by choice and not by force. Any partner that forcefully demands for sex is an abusive partner. Dating relationship is a friendship relationship; friendship and not sexual passion is what holds relationship. When a partner in a relationship does not see reason for complete commitment, he or she is not expected to be in a relationship. 

Marriage is not for girls and boys because boys or girls always want opportunity without responsibilities. And when talking about responsibilities, age is irrelevant. When it comes to maturity, growing up is not the same thing as growing old and mature. There is more at stake in a relationship than just two people trying to meet each other’s sexual needs all the time. It is far complex than that. 

So next time a single is trying to envisage, envision, visualise, picture and imagine the thought of his or her partner, he must ask himself whether the relationship is worth the séxual sacrifices or not.

How Can I Talk to a Lady?

I have a little problem I think I need help with! I have never been able to ask a girl out. Throughout my secondary school days, I see my mates seeing a girl and in the twinkle of an eye, they are chatting with the girl. I have always wondered how they did it but yet I still find it hard to practice. I understand I am a shy person which affects my ability to meet with a girl and talk but it is really getting to me. I have asked my mates several times how they go about it. Each one explains in his own way but practicing seem so difficult. I am in the final year in university at the moment, and i can count the number of girls I have actually had a long conversation with. I have very few female friends and most of them are course mates that i started talking to somehow. Please I need help. It is really getting to me. Sometimes i wonder if I would be able to get married. Please I need your counsel.

Why Men Lie to Women

Every person, whether a man or a woman, knows very well why they are looking for an answer to this question. If you are having a hard time accepting it, let me spell it out for you. Men are here because they want to know what they share in common with other men and women are here for the obvious grievous reasons. Lying has caused great irreparable rifts in many relationships. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why men lie. Maybe, understanding these reasons may help you get a better insight of your relationship.

For the Kicks
The common reason why men lie is, generally, for the heck of it. They lie because it gives them an ego boost. Saying the truth is easy and convenient. But what’s exciting about it? Nothing. So what do you do? Lie, of course! Men have inherently been the species which takes the risk, proves its mettle, and wins the prize. Thus, you’ll often find men boasting about their financial status, capacity to drink, and number of girls they’ve dated. It’s foolish, but that’s why they are men!

To Hide
This is not exactly a lie. However, it is not exactly the truth either. He is not telling a lie, but he is not being honest either. He just won’t tell. But, since this goes against the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, it is tantamount to lying. For instance, he may say, ‘I was out with a friend for a couple of drinks.’ Here he will not specify which ‘friend’ is this, leaving you under the impression that it was one of his guy friend.

To Please You
This is the lousiest reason, but it is still a reason for men to lie. Men oftentimes lie because they do not want to face your reaction to a certain truth. They are worried that it may upset you or may be you will react vehemently. Thus, to avoid the melodramatic charade, men lie. For instance, if the food you’ve cooked is not palatable, he will just gobble it and say it was good. So, don’t hold a grudge for this one, it’s a sweet lie! But, sometimes such a lie is told to cover up an important issue, it can leave a bitter taste in the mouth too.

To Cheat
Why do men cheat? The reasons for cheating are pretty much the same, as why women cheat. We all cheat to make a point, either to ourselves or to our partners. However, if your man cheats, you need to understand that it is not his fault entirely. It surely doesn’t happen overnight. It begins with emotional infidelity, which, if swept under the carpet, can make things much worse. So, any behavior suggesting the same, must be addressed with maturity and with an attitude to change the situation for good.

Procrastination
Face it women, men are lazy! While it is true that they are traditional providers, it is also true that they don’t like to work holidays. Given a choice, they would indulge in actual sports or plant themselves in front of a couch to watch sports. So, to avoid work, they lie. The easiest of all lies is, ‘Oh! I forgot!’. So, don’t be surprised if you get this excuse when you ask him why he hasn’t mowed the lawn yet.

Women have excellent intuitive powers (no praise, it’s a fact!). So, to all of you harried girlfriends, use it. Practice will make you perfect. Instead of brooding over why men lie, have fun confronting them!

14 Ways Guys Can Tell She’s ‘Wife Material’

Most guys have a type. Whether it’s blond or brunette, petite or curvy, sporty or sophisticated, men go after their type, swoop in, and hope to score.

The thing is, guys are pretty clear about the kind of woman they want to date, but at some point they’ll meet “the one.” She may not even be their usual type at first, which could actually be the cause for the insatiable fascination and infatuation.Granted, for some guys, their type is pretty much any woman who will actually have a conversation with them. But that’s an article for another day…

And just as women have ways to tell he’s husband material, guys can do the same in choosing someone to marry. So here are 14 ways to tell she’s wife material.

1. She doesn’t smother you. She knows you have friends and need your “guy time.” What’s more, she happy that you go out and have fun with your buds.

2. Girls just wanna have fun. She’s able to let her hair down and just have a good time. But…

3. …she’s also responsible. She’s not a non-stop party girl.

4. She’s a great cook and enjoys it. There’s a lot of truth behind that whole “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” line.

5. She puts up with your crap. Guys do a lot of stupid things. Apparently it’s in our genes. (Or is that jeans?) Rather than just bail or call it quits, she tolerates some of the more idiotic things you do. But then again…

6. She’s not a door mat. She may let you get away with something once or twice, but she’ll most definitely let you know she’s not happy about it.

7. She’s self-confident. Nothing, as in nothing, is sexier on a woman than self-confidence. Which reminds me of another good point.

8. She’s sexy. Hey, guys are 95 percent visual creatures, so if just looking at your huge… tracts of land helps him stand at attention, that’s a good thing.

9. She’ll watch Die Hard with you. Granted, you’ll probably have to suck it up and see some Renee Zellweger flick, but compromise is the strongest pillar in any marriage.

1o. She’s good with money. Good at making money is even better, but it’s great if she can keep her eye on the checkbook and make educated purchasing decisions. Somebody has too, right?

11. She has a sense of humor. Whether she’s cracking jokes or laughing it up at yours, she definitely knows that, as Oscar Wilde put it, “Life is too important to be taken seriously.”

12. She puts Florence Nightingale to shame. When you’re home sick, she’ll race over with a container of chicken soup. She’ll cover you with blankets, prop your head up with pillows, and rent your favorite movies. She’ll do everything she can to nurse you back to health.

13. She has goals. Doesn’t matter if it’s career goals, life goals, or wanting to climb Mount Everest, she has dreams and isn’t afraid to go after them.

14.She makes you a better person. She makes you want to do more, be more. When you’re with her, you really work at becoming a better man all around.

What do you think makes a woman wife material?

8 Ways To Be His Perfect Girl!!!

The secret to being a good girlfriend is just being yourself, because that is the reason why your man chose ‘you’ of all the girls around.

Being a good and caring girlfriend is a nice way of letting your boyfriend know, how lucky he is to have you. You don’t have to go out of your way to be ‘good’, just to please your boyfriend. You already have it in you, that is why your boyfriend chose you in the first place. You just have to express what you genuinely feel about your boyfriend. Yet, if you feel like going that extra mile for pleasing him, you can indeed go through these tips on how to be a good girlfriend, presented in this article.

1. Give Him Space – Don’t Nag

Most girls are so overwhelmed with the feeling of having a boyfriend that they tend to cut themselves off from the rest of the world and expect their boyfriends to do the same. However, there is a difference in the way men and women look at a relationship. Women tend to devote all of their time to their new relationship, while men only think of it as an addition to their existing ones. However, that does not mean that your boyfriend does not want to spend time with you, but he sure needs his own space. Let your boyfriend spend time with his friends and family if he really wants to. Don’t nag all the time, because nagging is something men really hate. After all, what’s the use of having a boyfriend by your side all the time, when his mind is somewhere else?2. Be Independent

Men really like women who are independent and capable of taking care of their lives. Calling your boyfriend at the slightest sign of trouble is definitely not a good idea. In the initial stages of a relationship, your boyfriend may like it when you turn to him for help, for every petty reason, however he may get irritated, if you make it a habit. Instead, show him that you can look after yourself and can handle problems without having to rely on him. It is best if you make yourself financially independent as well. Not only will it help you to support yourself but it will also garner your boyfriend’s respect and appreciation.

3. Share His Interests

Sharing his interests and participating in his favorite activities is a nice way of showing your boyfriend, that you are ready to go that extra mile to make the relationship work. Obviously, nobody expects you to enjoy his activities as much as he does, but your willingness to share his interest will make your boyfriend very happy. Sacrificing a romantic flick for a football match, once a while, can help you build a healthy relationship, without you knowing it.

4. Be Honest

Be honest to yourself and your boyfriend but do not expect it in return. You can be honest about your life, your past relationships, your ex-boyfriend etc., but it is unfair to expect the same from him. He may have his own reasons for not divulging details of his past, so respect his feelings. However, you can always communicate your feelings and expectations. Being honest about your expectations from the relationship will help both of you to understand where your relationship stands.

5. Don’t Be Overly Possessive

Although, over-possessiveness is usually associated with guys, some girls just don’t let go of their boyfriends and cling to them all the time. Beware girls, this attitude may make your guy claustrophobic and it won’t be too long before he sees red. Don’t confront him if some chick checks out your guy because it is not his fault. Instead, be happy that you are dating a guy, most girls would be desperate to be with. Similarly, don’t hack his passwords and read his mails or text messages. Such behavior may make you look like a desperate person who feels insecure about her relationship.

6. Don’t Be a Control Freak

Most girls try to get the control of the relationship by trying to change something about their boyfriends. Criticizing his looks, clothes, habits can really turn him off. Just as you wouldn’t want to change yourself for anyone, your boyfriend also loves himself the way he is. Always remember that you fell for him for what he is. If there is something unpleasant about him or his appearance, give him subtle hints, don’t ever yell at him for that will make the matter worse.

7. Be Patient

Men do not believe in expressing their feelings the way women do, hence be patient if your boyfriend seems in a somber mood and refuses to talk to you. Do not frustrate him by asking too many questions. Just leave him alone, he’ll himself come back to you whenever he feels like talking about whatever was bothering him.

8. Don’t Ask Awkward Questions

Women have this habit of asking a wrong question at a wrong time. Nothing infuriates a man more than a ‘do you love me?’ amidst a romantic sequence. Use your common sense ladies, would he be with you, if he never loved you in the first place? Do not expect your boyfriend to profess his love for you, all the time. And for God’s sake, refrain from asking him ‘how much?’ if he ever bothers to answer your first question.

Being a good girlfriend is really not that difficult if you let your guy get some life and learn to get some yourself. You may feel like you are sacrificing some things in the process of becoming a good girlfriend but remember these small sacrifices go a long way in consolidating your relationship. Finally, follow the above tips only if you think your boyfriend is worth it, else you know what to do!

4 Ways To Be Empowered In The Dating World

The dating world is rough, but if we change our approach, I think we could attract more compatible mates and move past those who bring negativity into our lives. Check out these tips!

1. Prioritize Your Needs: When we are preoccupied with meeting our partners’ needs, we use the relationship for self-validation. We want our partners to assure us we are worthy of their love. When we prioritize our own needs, we want to receive love and respect in a relationship, so we attract people who value this give and take dynamic, rather than people who are only concerned with getting their own needs met.

2. Regard Judgments as Opinions: It is hard to invalidate others’ judgments, especially when we struggle with our self-esteem. But judgments are essentially opinions. While there are aspects of a person’s character that are objective, those traits are still perceived differently by different people. A neurotic woman may seem crazy to one man and passionate to another. So if negative connotation is attached to someone’s judgment of you (which is usually the connotation in our judgments of others), regard this as his/her opinion.This can help develop an otherwise loving relationship. If Bill is a loving partner and he spews out his frustration with apologies judgmentally, it would improve the relationship if his girlfriend personalized the judgment. She could then conceive how her behavior affected him, and communicate with him in a way that does not evoke that response. This mindset can also help us identify a toxic partner. If Bill’s girlfriend personalizes his judgment, she can speculate that he may generalize his opinion to keep her fixated on meeting a certain standard. Then she is more apt to leave because she spots his manipulative behavior as the issue in the relationship, not her overly apologetic behavior.

3. Regard Rejection as Incompatibility: It is easy to feel inadequate when we are rejected. But rejection signals a lack of compatibility in relationships. If Vera’s date disproved of her apology, then he is not the man for her. If we take these “rejections” too personal, we lose sight of how these experiences can help us find a more compatible mate.

4. Give it Time: We can never know the quality of a relationship without giving it time. If a guy or girl doesn’t answer the phone or text back, there are a multitude of reasons why. We cannot assume she is uninterested nor can we assume he is playing hard to get. We can only discern if this person will be a compatible mate if we give the relationship time and patience. Most importantly, I think we must develop our sense of self-worth in the dating world. It becomes easier to prioritize our needs and invalidate others’ harsh judgments when we are consciously aware of what we deserve as human beings. This is hard. We have grown so accustomed to meeting others’ standards that we may not know what we want in a relationship. But in learning to love ourselves, we look for partners who will love us in return, and write off those who will bring negativity and judgment into our lives. So envision a dating experience that is peaceful. That is successful. That does not allow judgment and rejection to ruin our hopes of finding the perfect mate. A dating experience that is only possible if we change our mindset in this game we call love.   Source; huffpost.com

10 Things That Make You The Perfect Man For Her!

Although every woman will have different priorities when it comes to what makes a perfect partner there are some things on which most women agree.

Men often say that they don’t understand what women want from them but really it’s not that difficult. There are some key qualities that women are looking for when they’re dating and it’s on these that they will judge whether you will make a good boyfriend. None of them are difficult and all men can do them even if it takes a bit of practice.

1.      Good hygiene – its number one because it’s so important. If you’re going on a date make sure you shower, brush your teeth and use some deodorant. While some pheromones might be a turn-on, BO is not. Taking care over your appearance, your home and even your car if she’s going to ride in it are all marks of respect which women value.

2.      Attention – generally women love to talk and they want a man who’ll listen to them without rolling their eyes or tuning out. Show the woman in your life you care by really paying her some attention rather than just lapping up the attention she gives you.

3.      Sense of humour – make her laugh, help her see the lighter side of life and not only will it make you feel good about yourself but she’ll come to see you as someone who could be a real friend as well as a partner.

4.      Sensitivity – you don’t need to wear your heart on your sleeve all the time but it’s important that you let her see you have a sensitive side even if you never let anyone else see it.

5.      Honesty – there’s a lot of guys out there who are players and women are looking for someone who they can trust. Your honesty can be demonstrated in small ways like being on time, doing what you say you are going to do and telling her the truth about how you feel.

6.      Respect – it doesn’t matter how liberated or feminist a woman is they all want to be treated with respect. That means caring about her feelings, supporting her and not messing her about.

7.      Integrity – women respect men who have values, beliefs, principals and who will stand up for what they believe in. Men are often physically stronger but even if they aren’t women want to know a man will stand up for her, protect her and be on her side when she needs it.

8.      Thoughtfulness – doing those little jobs without being nagged; sending a message just to let her know you’re thinking of her or remembering something important that’s going on in her life even if it doesn’t involve you. Offer to help her when you can but don’t assume she’s always asking you to fix a problem sometimes she might just want you to listen.

9.      Desire – no woman wants to be with a man who doesn’t find her attractive. She needs to know it is her you desire rather than just s*x. Show this through affection, compliments and don’t assume she should know, tell her.

10.  Ability to commit – while some women may prefer the emotionally unavailable type, those who are genuinely looking for a boyfriend want someone who shows that they have the ability to commit. Be on time for dates; make arrangements and stick to them, don’t be flaky when it comes to your feelings about her. Consistency and stability in your work, friendships and family situation are all great indicators that you are someone she can rely on.

4 Amazing Tips To Improve Your Relationship

Nowadays, it is getting harder and harder to find someone with who you’ll never have disagreements on any topic. Said that, it’s pretty noticeable that some people feel unhappy and misunderstood, having no clue of what to do to improve their relationships. Breaking up is certainly not the best solution, although it’s the easiest one. Therefore, here you go some few tips on how to make you relationship better, which is totally possible and will give you much more happiness in a long term period.

1. Control your Jealousy

Being jealous of the person you love is completely understandable. However, if you keep pushing the boundaries, you might end up pushing away your beloved one

2. Value your Individuality

Don’t forget that you have a life outside the relationship. Keep close to your friends and family, the ones that have been there the whole time for you. Of course, sometimes you just need to have your private time with your boyfriend/girlfriend, but don’t forget the other ones who love you.

3. Be Creative

Don’t let your relationship turn into an exhausting routine. Exchanging letters, notes and messages should be mandatory in relationships! These are the things that keeps relationship tight when you’re both physically away from each other.

4. Appreciate the Time You Spend Together

Whenever you’re with your partner, enjoy every minute of the time you have. Listen to whatever he/she has to say and be supportive. Also, don’t waste your time arguing, but making love and saying sweet things to one another!