I've received many emails with the same
question. "I'm getting older and I'm still single. What if God's will is
for me to be single forever?" If you follow our blog you know that I'm all about
encouraging one to wait and hope in the Lord. I never post anything about being
single forever because I truly believe there is always hope; however, I do
realize that for some being single is simply God's plan. What if the years keep
passing by and you're still single? You desire to be married; however, you see
it happening for everybody else except you. You are not alone. Here are some of
the questions I've received throughout the years.
IN MY CULTURE IT'S SHAMEFUL TO BE
SINGLE AT MY AGE:
There are many cultures in which a
twenty-five year old single woman is alarming because it's believed her
childbearing years are fleeting away and somehow the older she becomes the less
desirable, which makes waiting on the Lord much more difficult. Unfortunately
in this world as women age, being single becomes less of a status and more of a
stigma, giving way to names like "old maid" or "spinster";
however, God's perspective is much different. In 1 Cor. 7:8 Paul says, "So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay
unmarried, just as I am". Why? Because, "a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be
devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to
think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband".
(1 Cor. 7:35 NLT)
God views this time
in your life as a good thing, as a time to devote yourself to Him. He wants you
to enjoy his presence and everything he has to offer. Stop focusing on your age
and your singleness and begin relishing your free time with the Lord. Start
focusing on things you can do! Take a bible class and get to know your maker at
a more intimate level. Go on a mission’s trip and mentor single women in other
countries. There are so many things you can be doing, things married women can
only dream of but don't have the time.
I DON'T WANT BE TO BE ALONE FOREVER, THE THOUGHT SCARES ME.
God knew that as
humans we needed companionship, hence Adam and Eve. He knew you'd need love and
the physical touch of another, so it's justifiable to be frightened at the
thought of being single forever; however, God says, "don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am
your God.
I will strengthen you
and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand".
(Isa. 41:10 NLT)
Pray and claim that strength, ask Him
to help you face life with boldness and to help you rely on him for all your
needs. Why? Because God says, "your Maker is your husband— the Lord
Almighty is his name".
That promise encompasses all your needs
physical, mental and spiritual. He will be your provider, protector, guide,
spiritual leader, comfort and so much more, more than a human can ever
be.
I NEED
PHYSICAL TOUCH, WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE DESIRES?
What you are feeling is completely
normal and God understands those needs. He created you with those needs wired
deep inside you. He knows the emotions swirling inside you and knows the deep
desires within your heart; therefore, as your Creator he can fulfil those
desires. Pray and be honest with the Lord and say, "Lord my desires
overwhelm and frustrate me. Please satisfy these needs and ease this urgency so
I can honour you with my life. Help me understand your ways so I can glorify
you and be content. Help me perceive your presence when I'm alone and your gentle
hand when in need of human touch". Nothing is impossible for the Lord what
makes you think he can't fulfil your need? Trust in Him.
WHEN DO I
STOP HOPING FOR MARRIAGE? HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M MEANT TO STAY SINGLE?
I don't think you should ever stop
hoping because there is always hope in the Lord, he is the God of hope. (Romans
15:13) God's timing is completely different than ours, just when you think it's
too late he might surprise you with a godly man. His plans baffle human
comprehension and we can't attempt to understand what only he knows. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares
the Lord, “plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11)
It's never too late for the Lord. Nothing is impossible for him. There is
nothing in your life he cannot do. Seek the Lord above all else and live
righteously, and he will give you "everything you need". (Matt. 6:33)
So concentrate on the Lord not your status. Live for the Lord and forget the
rest, he will take care of you.
By TPW
I think God is sort of like the genies in all the legends. You can ask for your wish to be granted, but you need to be VERY specific.
ReplyDelete“Please send me a husband,” isn’t specific enough. It might get you married to a man, yes—but somebody totally incompatible for some reason. Or worse, since you didn’t specify “a husband of my own,” it will make married men get attracted to you. That’s a hassle you DON’T want, trust me.
Maybe a good prayer would be, “Please make somebody I could actually WANT, want me enough to marry me.”
Of course, God isn’t noted for great communication skills. If he would just tell us what’s going to happen in simple terms in our mother language, instead of using parables and “signs” that are easy to misinterpret—that would help.