THE PROBLEM WITH WAITING ON BOAZ {WOULD YOU DATE YOU? PART IV}

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 remember when I first developed my own personal relationship with God, giving over my singleness to Him was hard to do. I was afraid that His standards would leave me single for the rest of my life.

But then one day He asked me…

“Well, has anything you’ve tried in your strength and wisdom gotten you married with children?”

To which my response was “no“.

And He said “Exactly”.

But I’ve digressed. One of the things I remember hearing over and over…and over again during this time was “Wait for your Boaz”.  And in that time I’ve learned that although God’s Word doesn’t change, the times and culture do, and wise women learn how to apply the Word to present day issues. So here are 3 issues with waiting on Boaz.

1. WHAT IF A BOAZ ISN’T GOD’S BEST FOR YOU: As I matured in my relationship with God

by reading the Word for myself, I asked God one day “What if I don’t want a Boaz?” I mean, all single Christian women aren’t Ruth or in a situation like the one Ruth was in when she met Boaz. Some of us are more like Lydia, Hannah, or my personal favourite Deborah. Now, don’t get me wrong. I know any single, Christian woman who really desires marriage – especially if it’s for the right reasons – would love a man like Boaz. He was kind, a good boss, considerate, and very much the gentlemen. And you know He knew the Lord because his mother – Rahab – probably wouldn’t let him forget what God had done for her. And did I mention he was rich?! But what if God’s best for you is a man like Daniel or Lappidoth? What if God has a Joshua or Caleb in mind for you? And if you met a man who wife’d you after rapping to you like loverboy did Shulamite in the Song of Songs, are you really going to tell God “But I wanted a Boaz”? I don’t think so.

2. YOU’RE LITERALLY WAITING FOR HIM TO SHOW UP: It seems like a no-brainer that if you want to meet a man and get married that you have to put yourself in a position to do so. But the struggle to meet single Christian men is real. There are lots of single Christian women just like you (and me) who struggle with this because as they learn God’s standards they struggle with practically and successfully applying them to dating. And this usually equates to struggling with options to meet single Christian men. It doesn’t make matters better that some church folks encourage you to expect God to perform a miracle so you can meet your husband. But I promise you most of them didn’t meet their spouse that way. They met their spouse because after they got tired of crying to God in prayer, begging to get married before the Rapture, they went out and lived their lives – mistakes and all. Which is exactly what you have to do. Start with your passions and interests and figure out how they can lead you to be active in your community so you can meet new people.

3. BOAZ MIGHT BE WAITING ON YOU: Ladies, years ago I myself did not know that there were men who prayed for wives. But they’re out there. And although some women may tend to think that they’re single because the men they meet just don’t have it together, some men do and some are wondering where all the good women are. Or, you may have met your husband but he is literally waiting on you to get it together. He loves and accepts you but your emotional baggage is causing you to get in your own way – and his. The best advice I can give you if you are struggling from unhealed wounds from trauma, childhood abuse, or poor choices in adult romantic relationships is to take a break from dating (from as short as a few months to as long as a year or more) and heal. Healing brings clarity, and clarity ushers in new thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour. When those four things change you’ll be able to behave in ways that support your desire of marriage and family.

Ladies, Boaz was a great guy. But before you set your sights on waiting for “your” Boaz, just make sure you aren’t waiting for something and God is trying to give you something else. Pray and go to Him concerning the matter and He’ll reveal what He believes is best for you.

By Afi Pittman