WOULD YOU DATE YOU? Part II

W

hen I was a young teenager, my mum called me one day and asked “what type of lady would you like to marry?” I was surprised at the question as a part of me begins to ponder why on earth she would ask that, while another part of me was wondering if she was planning on match making me with any future bride.

Finally, I decided to see where it was going and built up courage to answer her question. Just as I began my what was supposed to be unending list of qualities I desire in a lady, she stopped me and said “put it in writing and I will see it tomorrow”. Anxious to know where her little drama script was heading, I quickly picked up a pen and my jotter and started writing all the imaginable qualities any godly wife should have. I wrote the best of qualities I could remember spiritually, academically, financially, morally, socially and every aspect of life my teenager brain could cover.

The next morning was a Saturday and I rushed all my domestic chores and denied myself my favourite Saturday morning cartoons just in anxiety to see what she was driving at. I went to her with the list and told her ”Here it is”. She paused, obviously starring at the long list I had written and then she told me to read them for her. Before she could finish the statement I was already on it.

When I was done reading, she took a deep breath and told me I have good qualities jotted and any man dead or alive will be the happiest man in the world with those qualities found in his wife. Finally she said “if such lady with all those admirable qualities exist, what type of guy will she desire? Do you think you fit the type of guy she would marry?"

Silence cribbed me as though all the words in the world have sudden ran to space. Definitely not where I could have imagined she was heading with the question. She later told me to keep the list and make sure I work every day on myself to be the guy the lady on my list would admire.

I did as she instructed for a while till after my first encounter in dating (Read “The Untold Part of Me”) and I lost sight of the significant of the list. After the scenario of my last ex who called me a “runner”. I gradually began to understand what my mum meant then. John Maxwell once said “will the boy you were be proud of the man you are?”

Most of us demand perfection in our partners and make statements like “if only she/he could do these and that or stop these and that” our relationship would be perfect. But how many times have you said “if only I could do these or stop that”. Quite a lot of us demand a lot from our partners. Some of the things we ourselves might probably not render.

I believe the solution to most relationship lies in a statement once said by an American. “Don’t think of what your country can do for you but of what you can do for your country”. Stop seeing all the flaws your partner has but think of what you can fix in yourself to make you a better person for your partner.

With the help of the Holy Spirit in you teaching and guiding your thoughts. In no time, your relationship will be a daily honeymoon.

I am not saying I have attained perfection but I have learned to be open to correction and I have also come to learn to give people chance to not been perfect or been without short coming and with the help of the Holy Spirit teaching me to be a better me. I can definitely now say “Yes I would date me”. Infact, “I would love to marry me”